


Doorbell

by Arcadias_Fire



Series: Halloween Tales [2]
Category: Only Lovers Left Alive (2013)
Genre: Gen, Halloween, Humor, Short One Shot, So much swearing..., Swearing, Vampires
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-31
Updated: 2018-10-31
Packaged: 2019-08-11 11:29:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 792
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16474706
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Arcadias_Fire/pseuds/Arcadias_Fire
Summary: Despite the cycle of day and night being built into his body and blood, he never seemed to notice the months sliding past. Summer turned into fall into winter. It didn’t matter when you didn’t feel the cold. The leaves fell, yes, but the leaves had fallen hundreds of times since he’d begun to walk the earth. What did it matter?It mattered because the fucking humans kept ringing his fucking doorbell.





	Doorbell

 

“Oh for fuck’s sake.”

 

The doorbell had just rung for the seventeenth time in the last half hour, and he was getting tired of it. Stupid bloody humans and their stupid bloody holiday. Normally, they left him alone. Usually the dilapidated old house, covered in ivy, surrounded by overgrown trees and bushes kept the sheep away. But on this day, this bloody, _cursed_ day, they came to his door. He never answered - never even came downstairs - but they kept ringing the fucking doorbell.

 

“I should just take the damned thing apart.”

 

He had that thought every year. Dismantle the doorbell so that at least he couldn’t _hear_ the bloody thing when the humans were on his doorstep. But every year he forgot until it was too late. Time slipped by at random intervals.

 

Despite the cycle of day and night being built into his body and blood, he never seemed to notice the months sliding past. Summer turned into fall into winter. It didn’t matter when you didn’t feel the cold. The leaves fell, yes, but the leaves had fallen hundreds of times since he’d begun to walk the earth. What did it matter?

 

It mattered because the fucking humans kept ringing his fucking doorbell.

 

He sighed and rubbed his forehead. He wasn’t going to get any work done this evening if this kept going. He flopped back on the loveseat and stared at the cracks in his ceiling.

 

Oh fuck, there it went again. And it wasn’t stopping. “Bloody fucking hell!” He stormed over to the window and glared down at the street. There were a group of older children gathered outside the house, looking up at the lit widows of the upper floor. “Fucking zombie kids.” Stupid humans with their tiny, limited minds and their stupid bloody holiday where they stopped being afraid of the unknown and went to challenge it head-on instead.

 

He fucking hated Halloween.

 

The teenagers seemed to be determined to get his attention. Idiots. They didn’t know what they’d be getting into. They thought that the person who lived in the old home at the end of the street was just a recluse, not something dangerous. They had no reason to think that he was dangerous. These idiot children had no idea who really lived in the old house on the mostly abandoned street. No clue that he could eliminate every single one of them with barely a blink. Others of his kind might, but he preferred a quiet life. He barely left the house. He didn’t need to.

 

And 364 days of the year, that was it.

 

But today…

 

Fuck that was annoying.

 

He put his headphones on, but he could still hear the doorbell buzzing through the music. It was kind of an interesting effect, but the noise grated on his nerves, even through the sound of guitars and keyboards. He didn’t often regret his superior senses, but this was making him wish they were a bit duller.

 

Finally, it stopped.

 

It had been almost an hour.

 

“Thank fuck for that.” Back to work then.

 

The evening hours passed, and he was making good progress on this new project, but then the doorbell started again.

 

“What the fuck? It’s after midnight you bloody idiots, Halloween is fucking over.” _Anyone_ would be annoyed by this. It was late, he could call the cops - he wouldn’t, of course - and be perfectly justified. He glanced out the window. There was nobody in the street, but the doorbell just kept buzzing.

 

“That is it. I am fucking done with this shit.” The fucking zombies were going to get what they were asking for. He stormed downstairs, dressing gown flapping around his legs. Flung open the front door so fast it rocked on its hinges.

 

The teenage boy that was leaning against the doorbell was alone. Idiot. The kid jumped away from the door, eyes wide under green makeup.

 

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing?”

 

“Hey man, no big deal, right? I didn’t know anyone lived here.” The boy was clearly intimidated by the tall, pale figure who’d answered the door, dressing gown notwithstanding.

 

“Right, so you were ringing the doorbell of an _empty_ house at midnight for the fun of it?”

 

“Yeah, totally.” The teenager smiled nervously and looked over his shoulder. “I’ll just be going now…”

 

“Oh no, I don’t think so.”

 

The boy turned to leave, and he reached out, faster than the human could see and snagged the back of the teenager’s coat. “Hey, let me go, man!”

 

“You wanted my attention, now you have it.” He dragged the boy inside and shut the door.

 

Urgh, disposing of bodies was such a fucking pain.

 

Hopefully the kids would leave him alone next year.

 

**Author's Note:**

> See, I don't _just_ write about Loki...


End file.
